I didn't get beaten up, lose the cup final, or get a viral disease watching Blue Is the Warmest Color, but I'd be lying if I said seeing it wasn't one of my most painful, draining experiences I've ever been through. ![]() I lost a load of weight and my head felt like a giant, pulsing boulder. My nether regions swelled up to grapefruit-like proportions and I degenerated into a state of dehydrated delirium, a sweat-bathed figure talking in nonsensical riddles and vomiting for a fortnight at my mum's house. I left in a flood of tears.įinally, I recall when I had mumps in my early 20s. It ended up pissing it down with rain-Eric Cantona scored twice and Chelsea lost 4-0. ![]() I was ten and Chelsea hadn't won a trophy in 23 years. ![]() My mind also occasionally returns to 1994-a youthful, more optimistic time in my life-when my dad took me to watch Chelsea vs.
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